Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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