he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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