I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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