He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
