Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
