I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
