I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
