if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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