wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
