I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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