am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
