I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
