Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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