I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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