I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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