is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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