Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize