I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
