Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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