I wish I could teleport
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
