K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
