I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
look no pants
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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