life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
