i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Enjoy the penises
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
