I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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