Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
