My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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