in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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