bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
