where does the pee come out of this thing
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
