Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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