We won't sleep together?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My dad just said "fuck circus"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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