what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
