Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
