I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
