Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This is my gift to your gina
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Your penis caused this!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
