i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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