just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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