the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
