Kiss
Puke
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
