who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
