1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
