I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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