yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
