hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize