Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
