oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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