just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
and she was petting her beer can
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
