Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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