WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
