hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
