I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
