I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
did i walk over a car last night?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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