Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
