aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
