I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
