I faked an abortion last night.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
