By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
