I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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