More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
