We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
