Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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