so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
you had me at cake vodka
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize