Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
