Having a random hookup so left but love u
kristin has been a bad kristin
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
