There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
