Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
