I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
vagina is talking i cant
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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